Serendipity

urght!!  look at the state of my blog!!..its all wrong!..I swear I never touched it!..or fiddled with anything!

Maybe its tblog hiccoughing again..I hope so..Ill leave everything alone for now..maybe it will all go right?..heres hoping!!

so yeah..excuse the mess in here

{3 hours later}
Its back..yay!..I knew it would be.  I dont know..tblog has lots of ...tantrums..weird.  I am off to dance under the moon!!!

The clocks have gone back for me..you know..BST has ended..so Im an hour later than I was..and its confusing because now I cant remember who also has the clocks go back thingy..America?...Aus?.. You guys will have to tell me.

Oh is Samhain today!..happy day!..or Happy Beltain if you live round the otherside..ie Aussies.  I shall be pretty busy, lots to do.  So this is a quicky..Ill catch up with everybody tomorrow hopefully.

meanwhile...The Story of Luthien_Tinuviel

in love and light
Clare x x

This is worrying..so very upsetting.  This person is obviously sick!..I hope they catch him quick! 

'Police have launched a UK-wide hunt for a man who attacked three women, in one case biting off his victim's tongue.

The man struck twice in Blackpool, Lancashire, and later in Knutsford, Cheshire, attacking three lone females.

Police warned women everywhere to be on their guard and said the man must be caught "as a matter of urgency".

"The attacks in Blackpool were particularly serious and, in one case, extremely vicious and brutal," said Detective Superintendent Ian Jones. '

the rest is here   BBC

I found this..well something similar on Eka00's blog!..how on earth can a bunny be scary!!..come to think of it how can 'I' be scary!!?

You Should Be a Sexy Bunny for Halloween!

Great night lastnight!..Even tho Im still feeling urgh..I watched a daft film on the telly..Roamy and Michelles High School Reunion...alot funnier than I thought it would be.  They were like a female Bill and Ted !!!  I laughed!!..so hard!!..oh then we did some..BLEEEP...stuff..*grins*..which was even nicer, best way to cure a cold...of course..everybody knows that!..the carpet burns are a killer tho.

Today I just turned my kids into a Tiger and two butterflies...aww..face paints, gods love them.  I have some sparkly ones left over from theater work..I sometimes do kids parties.  Yeah Im a big kid still..I like all the glitter...reminds me of the 80's..and watching that film.  Oh and Kraze gave me the url for an 80's radio station..going to try that out today.

All I have to do is perk up enough to play with my new camera..I figured out most of it..its just...well Im just not in the mood I guess. 

Today I really feel like giving Dariana a huge hug for all the things she has been through..I really hope she doesnt mind me talking about it.  But it is relevent in someways.  Her story yet again shows that you just cant tell what goes on in peoples lives...and how even the strongest women can be abused in some way..physical or mental..emotional.
 
I always said..to friends, and to my partner..any man who touched me in that way I would..a)hit them right back  and b)..be out the door in a flash!  But how do you really know what your reaction will be until it happens? 
I am not physicaly abused at all..but Ive come to recognise the emotional and mental abuse can do just as much damage.  Altho its certainly not as bad now..the constant put downs and hints that Im not good enough..at just about anything..that my opinion does not count..that Im bad at making decisions..that Im a bad mother..and half the time he never realised he was doing it.
 
So now its 90% better than it was.  As a person I need to rebuild my inner self now..and its all because his mother didnt teach her son how to behave..and that he didnt listen when I tried to explain how it made me feel.  I really hope Dari goes the whole hog now and gets that pathetic piece of so called man locked away.

Yeah Im tired..Ive been busy..I have a cold..not feeling too good.  M has it..the kids have it..only M has it like...WORSE..like only a man can*rolls eyes*  Anyway I went up to Newcastle..was nice..got the train up.  Its a nice city...busy tho..too many people..too much...noise.  I guess Im a quiet town girl.  Hopefull Ill get over this quick..the kids are still of school and there is no way I can 'indulge' in being sick.

I should talk more.  About everything, the whole point of having ablog for me was to get personal and let out some of my innermost feelings. 
I thought I could talk about bad times in my life.  My depression..the reasons why.  And when I was feeling really down I would get it all out of my head by blogging. 

It hasnt really worked.  I see others doing it and Im so happy for them.  When Im feeling 'down' I cant think straight tho..words get mixed up or everything comes out cryptic.  When I look back I think WHAT!..so maybe writing about depression is harder when your in the midst of the blackness, you cant see.  I have to try writing about it at times when I feel good..like now. 
This is hard tho because I relish the times Im feeling good..who wouldnt?  I feel like Ill sink if I start talking about how I feel in the bad times.  But I have to have a try.
 I was wondering tho..the real reasons people blog...apart from the political stuff.  I have the pagan side to me too.  Which I dont really talk much about.  I guess Im happy until the next goat comes along.

Meh..I heard how crap this film was but I thought...well Tom Cruise..kinda sexy in a way.  So I forced myself to watch it last night. 
Well I yawned my head off!!!...soooooo boring!...I was nodding off every 10 mins.  Nicole Kidmans drunk/stoned act was terrible!...I kept waiting for something to bloody happen!!!..even the sex and the orgies couldnt keep me watching!!..which is a wonder. 
It was all so...wishy washy..where was the passion!?..supposed to be about fantasy..sexual fantasy.  Im sorry but I must be very weird..if that was supposed to be emotional and passionate then Im the Queen of Sheba!!  Or maybe it was supposed to be unfeeling and cold?..well whatever it wasnt at all interesting.  I actually fell asleep at the sex cult/men in masks orgie scene.  LOL

Ok..so these dark mornings are a killer.  I hate them..I dont like getting up and it still being dark at 7.30am!!..and then getting home and its starting to get dark at 4pm...*sobs*..it makes me crazy!..take thismorning...so dark..me so half asleep..guess who put her trousers on inside out!!..AND walked to school in them!!..AND..didnt notice until Matty asked about that tag hanging out!!!*rolls eyes*...thank goodness for my new coat!!..which is long and covers alot!...
Im still in shock!!...Ive done some silly things in my time but really...this is the worst!!..if anybody else had said anything.  I would have said..oh yeah..latest fashion dahling!!!

Ok..yesterday I was talking to Kat on msn..when I heard a funny rustly noise for the second time.  I heard it the other night but I just thought..kids/neigbour messing about. 
Now you remember the boots and coat I just got?  the boxes were stacked in my bedroom..the noise coming from inside!!!!..sounded like a cat!! or a huge mouse!  Well I was scared!..I told kat I was about to be really brave!  I carefully taped the edges of the boxes together.  I was afraid that when I moved them 'something' would jump out at me!  This by the way took over an hour because I am such a wimp!  Quizzy on msn he told me to just go for it...ack..so I did.  I moved the boxes..they felt empty..I shook them..they were empty!..ok so I chucked them outside. 
The funiture next to my bed..the noise was coming from there!  And there was no way!..I was moving anything else because I was so sure that this huge mouse or rat would leap out!!  I waited for M to come home..about 5 hours later!!...he moved everything out.  Nothing..*sighs*..so its gone!..but last night I had dreams..awful dreams of giant rats!!

:: how jedi are you? ::

I love my friends!  My best friend..A..she is my super glam girl.  We went to collage together..worked together alittle..acted together!...she is like ...a lush bath ballistic..with added glitter and sparkles!..AND she looks just like madonna in the ray of light video..or I should say Maddy looks like A!!!

Then we have L..she is married now..with a little girl and works hard. So we see less of each other.  Its great when that happens tho..you dont see each other for months..talk rarely yet when you do get together its like nothing has changed!!..brill  I went to collage with L too.  She left early tho but we all still keep in touch.

Thats where internet friends are soo great!  Even if they are all weird crazy time zones..like Americans...I think its easier to talk to them really.  You get closer quicker.  And even tho you may never see or hear then you can still love them and turn to them when you need too.  Im thinking of my mate Bart now..god I must sound so mad/crazy sometimes!...the way I go on about the poor man!  But he IS my BEST friend.  I have never seen more than a few pics..or heard his voice..altho hes heard me rattling on testing the mic.  I have this mental image of him sat there on his terrace in spain..no shoes..painting..drinking green tea, me spamming him allday on msn..awww...bless...hes the bestest friend anybody could have.  Especialy when Im on one of my 'downers'.  He either ..picks me up and gives me a shake...finds great poets and says..'you write as good as that'....or makes me virtual chamomile tea and lets me cry on his shoulder.  Friends like that are hard to find. Plus hes a fantastic artist.

There are plenty of others Ricky..Matt..Fox..Shadie..Quizzy..I could go on and on..but Im not!

ack I wish I had a sensible head on me. I bought a new coat..new boots...hmm..and have no cash in my account to pay for it! I honestly didnt realise!..and now they are going to charge me 12.50 just for missing a 6quid payment..and will again if I dont pay by nov the 4th. I wont have ANY cash until nov the 13th soo....thats me selling my body again..down the docks for me!...ok so thats 3quid sorted...lol...oh the shame of it. And...weird prostats...some VERY odd sites people are coming from..a free sex-webcam site...I cant understand how Im linked to that!..now Im paranoid about somebody hacking into my webcam *sighs*..which I do turn off!!..of course I do..and I only use it with people I trust!!....its a worry

Photobucket is offline again and so Im missing my moon bubbles! And my pretty header *sighs*..AND...M has been a stupid ass as per usual.
Turns out his mum thinks my mum doesnt have the kids enough. And so shes not going to have them to stay at all. How childish is that!!!..shes going to miss out because shes a silly kid.
Oh and she doesnt work and has a three bedroomed house all to herself. My mum still works full time has my dad to look after and my nan who is going loco...grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrr  that said he did take the day off today and let me sleep for a few hours..which helped.  Feeling better.

The theme for this months Dirt be inspiration.  And I do believe I was actually inspired to write something about what inspires me!..Wow its been a while since Ive had any thoughts about Dirt.  Personal stuff...reasons for not wanting to submit.  'Issues'...anyway tonight I did scribble something.  Of course everybody has different things which inspire them.  Mine seem to be diverse...like me I guess..extremes.  So  Dirt maybe struggling on. I dont know just how much I can give.  And that may be an issue for some people.  Plus I have a hard time commiting myself..anybody who knows me say 'yeah'..lol

Clares famous Autumn Veg Roast Im cooking again..this is one of the things I manage not to burn! Take all your fave 'winter type Autumn type veg'..I use sweet potato parsnips carrots..use what ever you like. Mix some olive oil with alittle garlic and any herbs you have handy..I have rosemary and tyme today. Chuck it all into a big roasting tin..stick it in the oven for about 40 mins and voila...perfecs veg!... ahh the meats harder..I will burn!..seeya

oh yeah I probably spelt stuff wrong..so what!!..Im in a hurry

How do you feel today?...thats a song..keeps going round my head.  Well Ive been so busy..and will continue to be busy for the next 4 days...m is off work..hes fitting carpets..doing 'stuff'..getting in my way generaly..you know...the usual.  So I might not catch up with all my fave bloggers for a day or so.  Ill try my bestest..

Not even been feeling 100%...just 'off'  Dont feel like wine tonight.  In fact the thought of it makes me sick..and yes..my boobs hurt..hands up who thinks they know whats up?...lol..nothings certain yet.*shifty eyes*  I miss everybody when Im busy..all my friends...and Matt...if your reading this e-mail me or something if I dont see you befor you see this.  Im going to probably not be on msn even..thats right..I may have to leave the house!!!

Yesterday the kids had two friends round for tea..thats dinner if your weird and american.  They were sweet..well behaved boys..only 6 so I was alittle worried that three hyper boys would wreak my house!!  but no..good as gold.

Well Im a nut.  Im feeling very happy right now tho.  I feel like singing that kitty cat song bro had on his blog.  I want a kitten..a tiny weeny kitten.  Matty was allergic to my cat when he was a baby.  Maybe he grew out of that?...hmm..I dont know..Ill wait and think about it lots first.  M wouldnt like one..have to work on him

Nefarious, such a great word I had to write and find a place for it.  Shiv's fave word aparently.  It means evil, infamous.  Just like him..rotfl.  So Im pimping his bloggy today...why?...because I just can thats why!..and Mahabarath is so swishy and shiny.

Essence

She will catch you, beware my friend
With dimond eyes, starlike poison
More than you will ever know
Say your last goodbyes
Her hair like the wind, slate
Deepest midnight, passion
Skin you will gladly sink
Your teeth didnt know
How wonderous a taste could be
Fingers, bone crushing, clamy
Nerarious wings unfurling
Flexing, pinned with a heady stare
The demoness grows, transforming
Awash with flame, elemental song
Singed flesh burning,dancing
Rainbow lights surrounding pains heart
Her face alight, dark desire
Towering, sleely gaze, flickering
Bend, men will fall to her feet
Beg for your release, eitherway

 

New poems on here...I will be adding more later tonight.  Right now I am waiting for a phone call from my sister.  Mum just rang to let me know that Helens fiance has been having an affair..8 months..8 MONTHS its been going on!.. they were getting married next year.  Its like a repeat of what happened to me.  Weddings make people go weird.  Now H is broken..C is on medication because of how stressed he is over this other woman.  She wont leave him alone and thats probably the only reason hes come clean.  Everybodys blaming everybody else and my dad is about to throw punches..not good in the state he is in right now.  so Im waiting for her to ring me and tell me the story..the whole story..because I get the feeling somebody is pregnant...I dont know who yet...I just 'know' somebody is.

=http://memegen.net/viewmeme.p... method=post

Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...	breath taking
Your hugs are...	to die for
Your eyes...	light up a day
Your touch is...	awakening my heart
Your smell is...	amazing
Your smile is...	entrancing
Your love is...	eternal
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Yeah I nicked it from rinna..who nicked it from UniqueLaughter I thinkies Anyway how great is that!?I even smell amazing !!..well I knew that.. :lol:

Sham yes...this is how the story goes. 
My dad has been having heart problems for 2 years...irregular heartbeat..ventricular something...grr..well they say basicaly his heart is going into Heartfailure..eventually he will have heart attacks..Im sure its self explanitory. 
So for 2 years hes been going for tests..trying different drug combinations to slow and balance his heart.  The drugs work for so long then they have to try something else.  In the early days of his tests..his consultant said he knew that a certain op would help..but he wanted to try drugs first.  For 2 years!!!...Ive forgotten what the op is called..its the one Tony Blair just had.  Oh yes he gets it right away..my dad wasnt even on a waiting list for the past two years. 
Now...yesterday he got a referal..to a different hospital...better rep for heart problems Im told.  Its taken him 6 months to get the referal.  When he went yesterday the new Specialist was great!..said he would get him on the waiting list right away..he didnt think there was any point in waiting to 'see' if the drugs worked...hurrrah!!!..finaly somebody pro-active!  Oh the bad news is..it will still probably be 9 months on the waiting list!  AND..the old hospital wont release my dads medical files..which is unbelievable!..how the hell are the new docs going to see his medical history?...Its something this particular hospital doesnt do...why the hell not?..I cant understand it.

So yeah all the tests and stuff have to start again, should keep them busy until he gets the op finaly!  Even then thats just the start.  But it IS a start!...and blegh..to THAT..hospital...what a sham..

I have to cook veg..I hate all that peeling and chopping and nobody eating it!!...grrrr  Its going to waste just sitting there..so Im going to cook the bloody thing and then let them all waste it!  YES!..Im pissed off...Ill be drinking as of..*checks watch*..right now..Shiraz..full bodied and bound to get me drunk as a skunk with two glasses.  Hurahh!!...I might pass out and not come back on the computer*shifty eyes*...somebody rescue me!!!...£$%^!!!!

Im sorry..but updates dont ALWAYS work!!!...I heard so many people talk about the sp2 update for windows..say how its given them problems..they cant do this...do that..had to take something out..cant log into messenger.   So...of course I didnt get the update..I wanted to wait until they fixed those problems.  I thought I was pretty clear about it.  But no...of course MEN dont listen...they always think they know best and Windows...well anything they do must work..because its from...Windows..lol..M is worse than me!..I thought I didnt know shit but he knows less. 

Last week unknown to me he installed sp2 !!!!!!!!!!!...gahhh...stupido!!  So yeah Ive had problems now...msn mostly..then my internet short cut went all wierd and wouldnt open a window.  Eventually I used System Restore..even tho I hate that in case things dont come back.  But the moral of the story is...duh!..dont trust anything a) a man says...and b) anything Mr Gates says.

Chunks yes...chips no...how many times did I say coffee in the last convo I had.  I really wish I could spell...have to sort that out sometime..its another ramble...because Im bored while Ricky fixes 'stuff' on his PC...meh..booooored..I bet every body interesting has gone to bed!

Rinnas new template looking good..I like change..its as good as a rest they say.  Who wants to volunteer to come to my house and tidy up my living room!!...it looks sooo bad!...today being sunday I just let the kids loose and they trashed it*cries*..I need a maid...a man would be best ...taking aplications now..send em in!..you have to be good with a feather duster and look good in a pinny...anybody?...come on..must be somebody willing to scrub for me!

 I just had a weird thing with my gmail..wouldnt let me sign in now how..is that going to make me rave about how great it is!!..I just had to redo my pword...ok so the new colours can stay for a bit..its not that much different...but I cant be fragged to do anything else because Im talk ing now to Ricky and I have to go...byeeee 

Ack I hate decisions!!...

I like the pink...tell me what you think?
The fonts a bore..shall I change it some more?
Help me out, give me a hand
My brains in a funk, like a rubber band.

ideas..ideas..ideas..come on people!!!*hides choccies*..I have treats!!

Yeah Im bored again!..and I just used an amazing skin on my 'secret' blog...the colours are so me..and lift me.  So this is going to have to change.  Its all I can do to get tblog to hold my attention these days.  I swear if I hadnt paid to get a pro account Id let it slide.  Its hard to get in, its slow...it makes me say meh..alot.  But Im stubborn, and so Im sticking it out until the pro thing runs out..which is like months away so your all stuck with me for ages yet!..muwhahaha!  Im thinking a new header..or use the one Rattys hubby made me..or something...we shall see*wiggles eyebrows*  so things go abit wobbly yet again..*laughs*

Somehow Saturdays never live up to my expectations.  They are supposed to be easy relaxing days arnt they?..Unless you work.  Am I supposed to be stressing over stuff?  Msn messenger wasnt working..I couldnt log in and so I was ...alone!!!..no friends!..I have way too many on my list..lets see..*counts*..sheesh 26 contacts...well its back up now so thats ok..trouble is..nobody else realised it yet and so only 1 person is online..and hes asleep..damn americans.*grumbles*  So if your reading...check!..its back up and Im bored so get your arses on it so I can talk to you!..

Going out later too...visiting mum and dad.  Havent seen them in a little while.  Got a message from a friend which has made me want to see them today.

This poem...fits how I feel right now...

Weakness

Anticipate, the wait, halt time
Your taste, lingering ...against my teeth
Memories stinging, your last touch
A prize unclaimed, My weakness
Your love virulent, abusive
Taunts, shamed, filth pours fourth
Resigned, I lay down for you
Starcrossed and tortuous
Expose my fundamental essence
Give you my spirit, libertine
Bruised, yet aching...wanting
I wonder, how many times
Bitter, viscus on my tongue
How many tears I'll shed
Torn, ripped in two, crazy fool
Find the feeling, stoke my prowess
One burning touch from you
Can bring me down, for ever.

forgot to say..its one of mine..no date..well thats just typical of me...

Im thinking alot..but all I do is think the same innane...crap I always do.  Im traped..in my head, my head is a prison right now.  Inspiration is like a fantasy, relief is a far off goal. 
Im swimming in a swamp of descent..my own making and Im not making any sense so I apologise right now for what Im going to become.  My future is...I dont want to say it..I might invoke it.  Well this is nice...all my broken thoughts spewing out. 
What have I become?  Call me arty farty..I wish I lived in the Outer Hebredies...alone in a crofters cottage with walls 3foot thick and a jumper to match.  A hermits life...with not another soul to bruise me.  If that was reality..my angst could only be blamed on my own sorry mind. 
Tonight I will find solace in a bottle..its only 10.56am and already thinking of my long night...sharing my head with dark corners.

Feeling: bruised but feeling is better than not

I always say that...lifes Swings and Roundabouts.  Thats me..up and down like Binns Lift.  I dont much feel like doing anything..I write..I cry..alot.  I get irritated by every person bar maybe one or two.  Actually even close friends irritate..I take EVERY thing personal...I snap...I say nasty hurtful things.  I think nobody loves me..I wonder why nobody likes me...I hate my hair..my hands?..everything.  A combination of PMS plus being a weird freak who swings high and low...plus people around me draining me.  I seek out people who understand me...who have seen me like this befor.  The ones who know in a few days I will be my old self.  People dont understand..how...'teenage angst' does that sound?..I could almost laugh.

I feel sad.  I dont know why.  On the other hand I feel ...irritated by somebody who keeps reading this blog when they are not welcome.  I see it in  my pro stats..so yeah I know your reading and I know you cant help it.*sighs*..fine whatever.  This is a bad day..bad few days..I will get worse..probably wont be around for a day or so...I know when it comes...I feel myself sliding further down.  One day I worry I wont get back up.

Talking to Ricky about how hard it is to be a teacher AND be a man in this day of media frenzy over child abuse...obviously there is a terrible need for parents to be aware of these sick people who become teachers in order to gain access to children. 
And the government have alot to answer for with regards tightening up the red tape which helps to stop these perves from getting jobs in the first place. 

It really does make me angry tho..teaching is a vocation..not a means to earn buckets of money...quite frankly they earn a pittence in England..they do deserve more.  Shame certain creeps cause the kind of hysteria that means a man who actually 'wants ' to work with young children is under suspicion right from the start. 

I have my own experiances..an old headmaster...who only 10 years ago was accused and convicted of abusing the girls in his school.  The person who accused him was my age...was in my class...looking back when it happened lots clicked into place...'thats why I spent so much time in his office'..'thats why he always sat me on his knee'...'thats why he used to tell me he could see me ...and knew where I was at all times'...Why the hell didnt I think that was weird?...because I was 7.  And he was my headmaster.

I have a rogue word. Its sitting in the back of my head...waiting...just waiting for the right moment to jump out and attach itself to another word ...its...Sporadic. Well now its out something will come no doubt. Sporadic is me right now..I do things...Sporadicly..its a great word. One Im going to snuggle up next to and listen to it tell me its story. I love words...the last great love of my life was the word...Libertine...oh yes I still hold it dear to me. I love it so much I have to quote myself now :roll:

Starcrossed and tortuous
Expose my fundamental essence
Give you my spirit, libertine

weakness

Thats one of my fave quotes...being in such a great big hyper high mood I can quote myself!...mwahahah

The subject post says it all really. If I could get any closer to feeling like a human/tigress hybreed then I would pop[b]!....*growls*...[/b]lol...yeah yeah Im feeling quirky still!!..I wonder how long this mood will last? A high this good usualy lasts a day only...then Ill hit the dirt in a big way..*shrugs*..almost getting used to it now. So I make the most of my moods eh?...last night I certainly did!*chuckles*...ok enough of that. Dont want the MIB coming to take me away now do we? The kids are safe in school..Beccy is having a nap..mummy is swinging from the light fittings!...All funny stuff. I have been reading some great stuff in the AC ...really great. I dont know how I could compare myself...uh oh..self doubt monster be gone!!!!!!!!

Walking out of school I see an 8 year old walking along roaring in other childrens faces..scaring them. Ok I think...he better not scare my little ones...oh yes!!!...he bloody does..screams first in Amy's face then Beccy's...both scream back and run crying. I loose it!..I shout at him to stop that!. And do you know what he said?..here goes

Me: heeey!!!..dont you do that!
Child: fuck of!! *hand gestures*
Me: what the?...
Child: Shut the fuck up or Ill break your legs!!*runs off*
Me: *jaw hits the floor*

See what I really wanted to do was to give him a smack!...how dare he speak to me like that!...he was 8!!! But on no...I had to swallow my anger and walk away. Wondering who on earth lets their child talk like that! I was shocked yes. And I felt sorry for the poor child who seemed so full of anger. I would never have DARED to speak like that to a stranger! And if I had I would have got a clip round the ear.*feels old*

Im so late this morning...yet I have decided to sit down and tap tap tap on the keyboard.  Its 7.33am and I should be getting dressed.  The computer is like a lover I cant get enough of.  Time stands still while Im running my fingers over the keys. *blinks*...

Raining and Im going to get wet!...*sniggers*...thats an in joke ...I hope nobody gets!..Got to go shopping!...god I hate that.  It means I have to actually leave the house.  Ha Im joking!  I used to have serious Agraphobia...sometimes a little tingle still reminds me of how it felt.

From Dari...Im sure I did this months ago!..such fun and sillyness stand back...there is 1 part jealousy too!!

How to make a tigerlilly

Ingredients: 1 part jealousy 5 parts silliness 1 part empathy

Method: Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Add wisdom to taste! Do not overindulge!

Cuck-Coo!!!  Its great to be weird and freaky somedays eh?  Today was a mad day!...weird!...I laughed most of today!..the rest I wrote weird stuff...things that Im inspired by!  Outside was cool..crisp..insite steamy like hot breath. 
I apologise to anybody I may have freaked out today!..I took ages over at Rattys Forum..did alittle on my poetry site..which is still in beta form..but here is the link...{Poems} I guess...who ever reads this...foamy stuff well your welcome as long as you take off your shoes.  Oh and tell me you woz there...so at least I dont feel violated.*shifty eyes*

Feels : Onion

How easy is it to *drum roll*..be nice!...It takes no effort and hey its fun.  Yesterday I was super nice.  Giving out Tbucks makes me happy.  Its virtual generosity yes?  I made 3 people happy yesterday....which made ME happy too!..Oh love the karma thing.  Lastnight I joined AC too...somewhere Rinna raves about for us creative types...I lookie more today.  Had a fandabydosey night lastnight...me night...nice hot shower...wine...Steriophonics...Silver pen..black book...all makes Clare a very happy bunny...oh and GreenWing...rotfl...funny stuff..altho I could have gone for Vic and Bob lastnight..who knows Vic and Bob?..hands up please!...*understands nobody will know*

Most Haunted was cracking fun lastnight too..soo nice to watch some cheap telly...brainless...scribbled until after midnight yet again....will have to stick more onto the new bloggy...Poems one..I even called it a cheesey name too...Heartsease...with cheese..lol
oh I just remembered..cheese reminded me..My Best Friends Wedding...sad...very sad..I never thought Id EVER watch crap like it..but the message was ...very real...how utterly terrible to be completely in love with your best friend and him not love you back!!..urgh...

Oh today I pimp for Lewisgoldfarb...hes mad..truely..go see him swim in his strage desire...if you dare

Im shameless...using my blog to Pimp Rattys Forum..but!..hey..why not..its got a good few members now and its actually great fun!....A great place for people who like

Books
Films
Rats..er..or nice fluffy pets
Paganism/Wicca..
altho interest in all is not required!...I for example am not a Rat fan...
So Im shamelessly asking everybody to drop by and say hello*grins*  And if you do join us...erm..free wine and choccies.

Take a Look

Oh dear..Im a Material girl!!


You're going to let it be known that you are a
sexual being. Some people may be offended by
what you do, some will be amused, and some will
be turned on. In the future, you will
mysteriously acquire a British accent.


What band from the 80s are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Its been so long since I saw any newbies...am I loosing my touch or what?..I used to see them...give a ton of tbucks...I have far too many..and you cant even use them for anything really...still its nice for new folk to get a little something to help them out.  So if you need em..shout at me today..or at least tell me who is new enough to need some..Im feeling super generous and no..I dont want a thinh for them...oh maybe a smile..that would be nice.

Well balls of a juggling ogre!!!!!  I had a post almost finished and my PC crashed...meh..it was a good one too..nice rant about tblog..oh well Im not going to go over it all again..its out of my system and so Im free of it..briefly..
People are like onions..multiple blogs..hiding..secrets..blog names..I like Eka00's blog..new link.  New blog for me..poems too..not on tblog...  then I rambled on about how I have 3 blogs here and everybody knows they are me and so Im not hiding but some people like to and thats up to them...bit more rambling about how people might get a kick out of having so many different blogs and how their egos need constant massaging.  I do dislike people who think they are a gift.  Have some kind of respect for others...your not the only one on the planet that can do good!..or bad either come to that.ack I didnt want to ramble too much.  Im off to fix up my new place ...poems..I will put up a link later.  Also...Im blogging somewhere else..not tblog...I will be letting certain people know as time goes by..I may let tblog go...we shall see.

I really need a good comedy.  Last night bored out of my skull watching Eddie Murphy try to be funny in some stupid Hauted House film I started thinking...I want to rewatch Clue..seen it a million times  I love it so much!..Its Classic!..Tim Curry...wonderful!..must rewatch Rocky Horror too at some point...I miss collage.  I miss striding out onto a stage watching the audiance waiting ...in anticipation for me to speak..hanging on my everyword...what an ego trip!  When I was Magenta in the Rocky Horror..we had small audiances...I dont know...200 maybe..it was only a small collage.  When I started work and began doing teaching/demos...that was more like 300.  I used to be terrified...I soon got over it!...I miss it!..I miss the bustling backstage...the rush when you step into the lights.  I love theater..I was a makeup artist...that was my love..costume desigener/sewing lady..in the Theater you just ...are everything...you have to be...god I miss it.

I had a great talk with both Amy and Matty thismorning!..on the way to school. 
Amy noticed that we could still see the Moon..and that it was almost still full.  She started asking questions, was really nice to actually talk about something Im passionate about,  its something that is very difficult..she is at an age where she is curious now about the things I do sometimes.  I explain what ever she asks, but its hard not to confuse them at that age.  Simple...everything simple.  We talked about how the Moon was really inportant to our ancesters...the harvest ..how they used the moon..and why they thought it was magical. 
Then Matty wanted to know about the tides!..lol..hes 5 maybe he heard about it from school.  Really interested because he loves to hear about gravity and stuff too.  So this morning I feel fulfiled...as a mother and as a woman who loves the Moon.  Amy wants to stay up tonight and see if she can see it....should be fun!